This Year

I’ve been enjoying myself this summer. I’ve been “outside,” but it feels different. Last year, I was on the prowl and had a full roster. It was fun, and I think it was what I needed then. I cleared my roaster in February, and it’s been so peaceful. I blocked everyone, ok! I don’t want to have access to anyone, and I don’t want anyone to have access to me right now. I want peace more than attention. I’m taking the time to self-evaluate. It’s been amazing, and I have a really good headspace. It's the best place I’ve been in a while. It feels good.

This summer, I’m doing things differently. I’m not focused on meeting anyone. I’m taking trips, going to concerts, gardening, going to plays, spending time with friends, and enjoying my own company. I’m regularly going to therapy, and I’m losing weight (slowly 😫). Work is challenging, but I’m enjoying what I do. I’m happy, and I’m so grateful. Nothing feels forced.

When you're going through challenging situations, it’s hard to picture yourself on the other side, but when you get there, it’s an amazing feeling. I’m soaking in all of the good energy and positive vibes these days. There will be more challenging times so I want to acknowledge this moment in time and just live. I can vividly remember the last time things seem to align. It was 2015, I was 30 years old. I remember catching up with a friend and them asking me how I was. When I said I felt really good, I ginuinely meant it. We often say we’re fine when people ask us, but a lot of the times we aren’t. I won’t say for 9 years I haven’t been happy, there were definitely great moments, but now I’m extremely intentional about living my best life and not giving a damn about what anyone else thinks.

My mind is sound and clear, I love the skin I’m in, I’m healthy, fierce, and I’m manifesting. I know my worth and my values, and I’m not letting anyone compromise that. I’m not settling for anything less than what I know I deserve in any areas of my life.

I’ve really been focusing on speaking truth and power into myself and not depending on others for validation. It’s human nature to want some validation, but how can I expect other people to validate my feelings, intuitions, and decisions. There will always be naysayers and people who disapprov of your actions. Let them say or do whatever they want. You own your power so stop giving that power to others.

My hope is that everyone gets to experience happiness in life, whatever that means for you. For me it’s the feeling of calmness, everything is cool and easy. I’m proud of myself, life is good!

Here are a few songs I’m listening to right now as I’m in this life transition.

This Year-Emily King

Moment in Life- Musiq Soulchild

Summer 2020- Jhene Aiko

Keep the Faith- Faith Evans

Tomorrow- Tevin Campbell

Love Sets you Free- Kelly Price and Friends

I Ain’t Stressin Today- Dear Silas

You Gotta Be- Des’ree

Video- India Arie

There She Goes- Babyface

Everything I Am- Kanye West

Know You Are Loved- Cleo Sol

Imma Boss- Meek Mill

Free- Deniece Williams

Golden Time of Day- Frankie Beverly and Maze

Don’t You Forget It-Glenn Lewis

Hustle & Motivate- Nipsy Hustle

Happy- Ashanti