Grief, Therapy, Divorce, Infertility…Healing!

I haven’t blogged in THREE YEARS. I kept the blog because I told myself that, eventually, I would get back to it. Well, here we are! 2021-2023 were the most challenging years of my life. There have been so many twists and turns. Trying to process everything I’ve been through has been overwhelming. My father passed in January of 2021. We were extremely close; I‘m still grieving and probably always will be. I separated and divorced after a 10-year relationship. Coping with the betrayal and ultimate demise of my relationship has been brutal. I have had three additional surgeries due to fibroids (a total of 5). I started to explore fertility treatments in November of 2021, only to find out I have a blocked fallopian tube and minimal viable eggs to conceive. So, though not impossible, the process is extremely taxing, tiring, and maddening. Not to mention...EXPENSIVE. Relationships that I have had with people in my life have shifted. Some of my relationships have flourished (Shout out to my village). Some relationships are disappointing and sad.

Throughout my hiatus, I was depressed, and I felt alone. I put on a face, and I played the part. I still showed up for friends and family, but many things broke my heart.

Presently, I am on a healing journey. I am healing from abandonment, hopelessness, depression, self-sabotage, emotional abuse, and anything else that I want to be healed along the way. I'm finding my way back to my faith.

I am writing this for my healing process and those going through tough times. We don't talk about the heavy shit. The stuff that keeps us up at night, the stuff we suppress. It’s tough being the one who keeps everything together—pouring everything into everyone with none left for yourself. I lost myself along the way, and I’m just now beginning to crawl out of that space.

Therapy has helped me put many things into perspective, and I'm starting to unpack things. Some things will be uncomfortable to share, but this is my journey. I’m going to share all the craziness with my dating life, my infertility journey, discovering and understanding narcissism, grief, and more. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for my truth because it's mine to share. Buckle up!