Chile.... I am LATE!

Chile I am late ok! I haven’t written since January. So much going on, so much to say, but I’ve made excuses. Well now I am ready again (taps mic to see if y’all are still out there). When I started this blog, the intent was to have it be an open book. To talk about any and everything. I am going to share something extremely personal today. My hope is to start a dialogue, to support each other and honestly to see if I am the only one going through this. If you are uncomfortable with discussing the female reproductive system, this read may not be for you. If you have babies or have sex you shouldn’t be, but I digress.

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Y’all still here? Ok….Two Surgeries, Three Transvaginal Ultrasounds, One Pelvic MRI, and countless doctors’ visits. I’m just tired!

Since I was young, I’ve suffered with agonizing cramps and extremely heavy menstrual cycles. I chalked it up to genetics and just dealt with it. I just stayed home from school or called out from work when it became unbearable. In my mid 20’s I decided I needed to do something. I spoke to my doctor and my first solution was birth control pills. I continuously took birth control pills without having a break or allowing my cycle to come because it was just too damn heavy. I’d have breakthrough bleeding. This means that my cycle would come anyway. My body was used to the birth control dosage I’d been taking (the amount of estrogen and progestin in the pill) so the dosage would need to be increased. My doctor would increase the dosage and after a while I’d have breakthrough bleeding again. Breakthrough bleeding is common, so I wasn't too concerned until my cycle just didn't stop after I was on the highest dosage of birth control pills. I explored the IUD, patches, and even considered the shot as well, but I knew something wasn’t right. My doctor scheduled a transvaginal ultrasound (this would be the 1st of 3). I learned that I had uterine fibroids. Uterine fibroids are noncancerous growths in the uterus. They can cause pelvic pain, and overly heavy and prolonged menstrual cycles. Depending on the size of the fibroids, they can also interfere with conception or cause pregnancy loss. Mine where the size of grapefruits and I had three of them. I had three options. (1) just deal with it, (2) have a hysterectomy, (3) undergo a major surgery called a Myomectomy to have them removed. I decided to undergo the surgery because I still wanted to be a mother. This is considered a major surgery very similar to a caesarean section. After undergoing surgery and staying in the hospital for 3 days they were out. The healing length is like that of a caesarean section. No bending or lifting and normal activities can resume after 6 weeks. I was also told that scarring after surgery can affect future fertility, and that the fibroids could come back. I was also advised that if I decided to have children it would be through a caesarean section moving forward. The natural birth option was now out of the window.

For the next two years I’d continued to have extremely heavy periods so again went on birth control continuously. When I started having continuous heavy breakthrough bleeding I was again directed to have another ultrasound to see if the fibroids had come back. Luckily, they had not, my flow was just heavy. My doctor adjusted my birth control again and I went on with life. Two years later, I decided to stop birth control all together. I didn’t like the way I'd started to feel and I still had hopes of becoming a mother. Well, the painful heavy cycles came back. I was again wondering what was going on. I went back to see my doctor. She instructed me to have another ultrasound. I found out that the fibroids were back along with polyps on my uterus. This time though they weren’t as big, however there was a fibroid in my uterine cavity that needed to be removed. I would need to have a procedure called a Hysteroscopy. This allows the doctor to look inside your cervix with a hysteroscope to determine diagnosis process or in my case get the fibroid that was obstructing my uterine cavity out which is supposed to lighten my cycle. Before this surgery though, I needed to have a pelvic MRI to make sure there wasn’t anything else that the ultrasound didn’t catch. Imagine being in an MRI machine, with your hands above your head while they take pictures of your uterus for 2 hours. Yea, not fun at all. Luckily, I am not claustrophobic. I had the Hysteroscopy and was told by my doctor that my first cycle would be heavy, but that It should be lighter going forward. Well, my next cycle came and it was not lighter. In fact, it was heavier than before my very first surgery. So now I am back at square one. More doctors’ appointments to determine my next course of action.

African American women suffer from fibroids 2 to 3 times more than white women. Some studies have shown that 25% of African American women will suffer from fibroids by the age of 25 and 80% will have them by the age of 50. Because Black women suffer from fibroids at an earlier age, we also are 2 to 3 times more likely to undergo surgery. Not everyone who has fibroids will develop symptoms or require treatment. For those of us who do, it can not only impact our quality of life, but also impact our emotional well-being. I have literally sat on my bathroom floor and cried for hours. Just Tuesday, I had a doctors’ appointment and cried in the waiting room. I am going to cry ok (lol), but I’m going to get right back up. I’m an emotional Gangster (Cancer is my zodiac sign), so though it frustrates me and makes me sad, as soon as I finish my moment, I brush it off and keep pushing because I have no other choice.

So many women live and deal with infertility issues, reproductive issues, miscarriages, ovarian insufficiencies and so many more things. We deal with it in the shadows. We cry alone, we push through alone, we come out on top alone. We brush off our shoulders, do a little cute 2-step in the mirror, and step out into this world looking just as fly, fierce and fashionable as we want. No one would ever know. Well Queens, I see you and I understand… It’s heavy.

I have been researching fibroids. There are still a lot of unknows but so many support groups for those that feel like they just need someone to talk to about it. I am more than happy to share the support groups that I have researched. From here I will continue to do my research and explore any other available treatments for me.

This post is not a sympathy post, I am not looking for a pity party. I am just here to talk about the things we don’t talk about. To connect with people who may be going through the same thing. This may also help people who know people who are suffering from this. You can offer support in so many ways as well.

I am an open book, so if there is anyone out there who wants to talk about it, research with me, or just talk about how annoying this shit is, I am here. Comment or reach out to me at longleggedlauren@gmail.com.

Peace,

LLL